Louderback's Lexicon

A lexicon dedicated to the world as seen by me. All the words included herein, whether "real" words or not are perfectly usable for purposes of annoying your fellow man. The selection of words is adventitious in the extreme. Mostly, the words included are those I encountered in unusual circumstances, words for which I had extreme difficulty discovering an "accepted definition", or are the result of searches caused by the phrase "There has to be a word for that!" ... then there are those I made up. Lastly, there are those words included in this lexicon that are present simply because I liked the sound of them.

The astute reader will be well advised to use words found herein with forethought. Some are not real words, some definitions do not match other dictionaries, and all of these definitions when used in polite society are likely to cause odd looks and a cancellation of any future invitations to social events. As a guide to safest use, I have tried, when and where it amused me to do so, to provide circumstances and occasions where the more appealing of the words may used to good advantage.

I acknowledge inspiration from many sources as diverse as "Pinky and the Brain", Stan Kelly-Bootle, and the greatest lexicographer ever to have lived, Ambrose Bierce. Sorry, Daniel Webster, you may have made a great start, but Bierce did it right!

A

Abasement~

The thing that's under ahouse.

Abutment~

Don't go there.

Aglet~

The little hard things at the end of shoe laces.

Anhedonia~

The inability to be happy.

Anoetic~

Unthinkable.

Anomia~

The inability to remember names.

Anterior Nares~

Your nostrils

Aerophobia~

Fear of air

Affinal~

To be related by marriage

Anophelosis~

Morbid state due to extreme frustration

Appersonation~

Believing that one is a famous person

Armsaye %~

The armhole in clothing

Azygous~

Appearing as one single being or part

B

Bathybic~

Pertaining to deep sea.

Bee~

An insect found in the wild and in certain persons' bonnet.

Barophobia~

Fear of gravity

Basilic~

Royal or kingly

Bleb~

Small gathering of fluid under the skin

Blue Nevus~

A dark blue or blue-black nevus covered by smooth skin and formed by heavily pigmented spindle-shaped or dendritic melanocytes in the reticular dermis. In short, a steel-blue skin lump. Your author was born with a vascular nevus often referred to as a "Strawberry Mark" which, of course, was red.

Boanthropy~

The delusion that one is an ox.

Bolus~

Chewed up bunch of food

Brute~

See Husband*

C

Calor~

Body heat

Calypsolallia~

Imitating (Poorly) a Jamaican accent via the frequent and annoying use of "Mon".

Capitose~

Having a large head

Caseation~

Dead tissue that looks like crumbly cheese

Cat Waxing~

Behavior the author undertakes to avoid working on the WIP. E.g. "I've mowed the lawn, washed the windows, weeded the garden, scrubbed the toilets, cleaned the bugs out of the lights, and worked out all my menus for the next three months. Guess it's time to ... wait! How long has it been since I've waxed the cat?"

Cinemuck~

The layer of Pepsi, hot butter and trodden-on chocolate coating the floors of movie theatres.

Congaudence~

A celebrating or rejoicing together

Contesserate~

Allied in friendship

Coprolalia~

The use of words relating to dirt or excrement.

Cornobbled~

Hit with a fish.

Cynanthropy~

Disorder where sufferer imagines he's a dog

D

Dapifer ~

Someone who brings meat to the dinner table; the steward of a royal house.

Dedentition~

Loss of teeth.

Degringolade~

This means to fall and to disintegrate.

Deontology ~

The theory of morality or ethics.

Dibble~

To drink as a duck.

Dog~

Hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac who lay awake at night wondering if there was a dog?

E

Ecophobia ~

Fear of home.

Effable~

Something that can be expressed.

Effodient~

Burrowing.

Effulgent~

Shining brightly.

Emmenology~

The study of menstruation.

Emmet~

An ant.

Empleomania~

Obsession with holding public office

Employee~

A mindless automaton that can be made, under certain highly specialized circumstances, to perform remotely useful work (see robot).

Emeute~

An insurrection; a popular uprising.

Enatic~

Related to on the mother's side

Entropion~

An eyelid turned in towards the eye

Enucleation~

Removal of an organ in one piece

Ensky~

To make immortal

Epimyth~

The moral of a story

Epistaxis~

A nose bleed

Esophilia~

Fondness for the dawn

Esophobia~

Fear of the dawn

Exophagy~

Cannibalism outside the tribe

F

Fasciculus~

Small bundle of muscles, tendons, or nerve fibers

Fenks~

Leftover whale blubber used as manure.

Figulate~

Made of clay

Flexanimous~

Able to change others minds

Flabellate~

To stimulate the air with a Flabella.

Floccinaucinihilipilification~

Categorizing something as worthless or trivial

Formication~

the feeling that ants are crawling on you

Fuliginous~

smoky or sooty place

G

Gamophobia~

Fear of marriage.

Genu~

Any body structure that's shaped like a knee or possessing a knee-like bend.

Geogenous~

growing on or in the ground.

Gharnao~

A raft made of inverted ceramic pots

Ghost Teeth~

Lack of the Teeth's Outer Layers

Glock~

1. to swallow in huge gulps. 2. to make a gulping sound.

Grand~

One thousand or a Piano (or one one-hundredth of a candy bar).

Groaking~

Staring at someone eating in hopes they'll give you something

H

Hamartia~

The classic tragic flaw

Helobious~

Living in marshy places.

Hircismus~

Stinky armpits

Honorificabilitudinitatibus~

With honorablenesses

HTML~

Heavily Touted Markup Language.

Humdudgeton~

Imagining pain or ailment

Hypesthesia~

Abnormally low sense of feeling

I

Ideophobia~

Fear of ideas

Impavid~

fearless.

Internet~

See Net.

Introjection~

Building someone else's qualities into your ego

J

Join~

To attach oneself to a group with a fervor in proportion to the profitability of such attachment.

K

Kalon~

The kind of beauty that is more than skin deep.

Karimption~

A crown, a mass.

Karl~

The correct spelling of that name everyone keeps putting a "c" on.

L

Lagoon~

A thing beautiful when preceded by "pacific" and horrific when preceded by "sewage."

Lecanomancy~

Fortune telling by looking at water in a basin.

Linonophobia~

Fear of string

Logolept~

A word maniac.

Lungis~

A dull clod; a lout.

M

Maffic~

To celebrate noisily and boisterously.(from one such celebration after the British downed the Boers at Mafeking in 1900).

Magirics ~

Cooking.

Machiavelatte~

Coffee with a splash of milk, obtained by any means necessary.

Mancinism~

Left-handed, or -sidedness.

Mandorla~

An almond shaped object.

Misculegenary

From miscegenation and culinary any addition of a "foreign" ingredient to ethnic quisine … e.g. bacon burritos, tofu fajitas, and pepperoni lo-mein.

More~

What children want and cats refuse.

Morology~

The study of foolish and nonsensical talking.

Myomancy~

Divination by movements of mice

Mythopia~

Fear of stories

N

Naupathia~

Sea sickness.

Necropsy ~

The dissection of a dead animal (humans are included in that classification) to determine cause of death - an autopsy.

Nelipot~

Someone going barefoot.

Net~

A device used to ensnare.

Nycrophobia~

The Fear of Darkness.

O

Obstringe~

To bind; to make indebted.

Obvolve~

To wrap up.

Old~

(To the young) experienced and reprehensible (see Young).

Old~

(To the Old) venerable and praiseworthy.

Olent~

fragrant.

Oobar~

A dry fog of the upper Nile

Olkonisus ~

Urge to start a family

Omphaloskepsis~

Meditation while gazing at one's navel.

Ototoxic~

Having a bad effect on hearing organs

Otacust~

A spy

P

Panphobia~

Fear of everything

Palinoia~

Compulsive repetition of an act until perfect

Peen~

The end of the hammer opposite the striking surface.

Pelmatogram ~

A footprint.

Pemblememblemaia~

The uncontrollable urge to open the mailbox to see if your letters actually fell inside.

Penelopize ~

To undo and redo to gain time.

Peniaphobia~

Fear of poverty.

Penteteric~

Recurring every five years.

Periculant~

Being in danger

Persiflage~

Insignificant babble

Piet~

Reputedly, one obsessed with Pi.

Phronemophobia~

Fear of thinking

Post-Prandial~

Following a meal

Psaphonic~

Planning one's rise to fame

Pternophobia~

Fear of feathers

Q

Quondam~

Erstwhile, whilom, formerly.

R

Rasorial~

Habitually scratching the ground in search of food.

Recoct~

To recook; to redo, make over.

Recheat~

Blast on the horn to call the hunting hounds.

Redhibition%~

The return of defective merchandise.

Refocillate~

To refresh or revive

Robot~

A mindless automaton that can be made, under certain highly specialized circumstances, to perform useful work remotely (see employee).

S

Sagittal Suture~

Jagged line on the top of your skull

Sarcasm~

Witty language used to convey insults or scorn.

Sarchasm~

The vast chasm that lies open between you and someone who did not get your joke. Into which bottomless gulf you may hurl, as an exercise in futility, any explanation that you feel will somehow make the incident "funny" or which will repair your listener's broken sense of humor.

Satisdiction~

Enough said.

Saturday~

The sixth of seven serial tediums.

Saxify~

To turn into stone; to petrify.

Sayyid~

Chief, prince; a Moslem title of honor.

Scacchic ~

Pertaining to chess; chess-like.

Schadenfreude~

Joy at the misfortune of others

Screeched~

The longest one syllable word in the English Language.

Simultaneipee~

The tendency of groups of people, office workers, television viewers, to take pee breaks in simultinaety.

Sinciput~

The forehead

Spheropygian~

having full and rounded buttocks

Spizzerinctum~

the will to succeed

Staurophobia%~

The fear of crosses. A common affliction among vampires.

T

Thetical ~

Arbitrary; prescribed; laid down; positive.

Tonsurophobia~

The fear of haircuts. Is a tonsurophile one who shaves his head?

Training Department~

The place where those with an irrepressible urge to be wrong in public pretend that it is otherwise.

Trichotillomania~

Abnormal urge to pull out one's hair

U

Ukelele~

Commonly spelled ukulele, this object is a fretted string instrument which is essentially a smaller, four-stringed version of the guitar. The name is from the Hawaiian, where the name supposedly translates as "dancing flea".

Ultracrepidarianism~

Giving opinions outside of one's knowledge

Ultrafidian~

Ultracredulous; extremely gullible.

Unasinous~

Equally stupid

Unguent~

A sticky-slimy substance applied to the body in order to give an excuse to use the word "slather."

Urubu~

The black vulture.

V

Viator~

A traveler.

Victory~

Illusion.

Viraginity~

Female masculinity

Viridarium~

A villa's garden.

Virtu~

1. enjoyment of the arts. 2. being rare or beautiful: interesting to a collector. 3. art curious or antiquest, collectively.

W

W~

The twenty-third letter of the alphabet, misnamed oddly in that it is a compound of two "V"s and not two "U"s.

Woom~

Beaver fur.

X

X~

A letter used in equations to express and unknown value. "X" is sometimes associated with the "food" called "Corned beef hash."

Xenomania~

A mania for foreign customs, traditions, manners, etc.

Y

Yerk~

To beat someone vigorously

Yex~

Hiccup, cough.

Young~

(To the old) inexperienced and contemptible (see Old)

Young~

(To the young) irrepressible and admirable

Z

Zarf~

The holder of a coffee cup that has no handles.

Zebra~

A horselike creature endowed by merciful nature with protective coloration that enables it to hide successfully behind vertical blinds.

Zoo~

See Training Department

Zoophobia~

The fear of Animals

Zumbooruk~

a small cannon fired from the back of a camel

Zythum~

Beer in ancient Egypt.

Copyright 2004 by R.R. Louderback
all rights reserved